Author of The Woman In Me, Coto “Cookie” NN Mbekeni-Makaba has launched her second book titled: “The Eden of Relationships: From Personal Leadership to Relationship Success, which can be ordered and purchased from Mbekeni-Makaba directly on her social media platforms, Facebook: Cookie Makaba.
Cookie Mbekeni-Makaba born and raised in the Eastern Cape in the village called Engcobo in the 1950s. Mbekeni born in the royal family and studied a lot of African philosophy. Now on her late 60s she is studying masters in African philosophy and theology, and using all her knowledge and wisdom to impact all the people of South Africa.
“What made me write this specific book, is that I have noted that relationships generally are suffering a lot and I felt the need to do something about it. The realization came up because I went through a hectic relationship and I saw my friends go through hectic relationships themselves”, Mbekeni-Makaba.
The book coaches you to find your real and authentic self within the relationship you are in right now. It inspires and encourages you and your partner, if any, to craft and reach for your kind of preferred relationship.
“I discovered as I was going through my relationships that there are really some basic principals that are equally important for all relationships. The basic principle would be the pillar or the foundation that you need to manage yourself first, know yourself first, then you will be able to manage relationships with other people. That’s why I came up with the book From Personal Leadership, to Relationship Success.
Mbekeni-Makaba says it took her quite some time to complete the book, because initially, she did not have the confidence because she was still walking. “If you took the first version and looked at the second version of the book, you will see a difference”, Mbekeni-Makaba.
Touching on relationships, Mbekeni-Makaba emphasizes the importance of managing yourself as a person before you attempt to manage relationships. “You have to value yourself first, know that you are important enough not to be scared of yourself, says Mbekeni-Makaba.
Coming from a place where Mbekeni-Makaba failed in self-management, she says with this book she hopes to reach the young and the old, from the age of 13 upwards. “This is because some of us in our old age are low and lonely, because we never knew who we were, we never managed who we were and as a result we were unable to manage relationships.
After months of attempting to put the book together, she says it finally came life because she knew who she was, she began to realize who she is, what her shape is and where her space is in the jigsaw of life.
“I discovered that once you discover that you really are valuable you do not need to be affirmed by anyone then you will begin to value yourself, however, if you have not learned from past experiences and they have been a threat to you, not stepping stones, then it becomes a difficult journey because those things keep haunting you.
Discussing failed relationships, Mbekeni-Mkaba refers to her marriage which ended failing, she reflects how she lacked at that point and how it could have been made better.
“I was is a failed relationship, I was married for 26 years, but I had to get a divorce, and when I look back, if I had known, perhaps I may have been able to talk to the father of my children, if I knew my shape. It goes back to knowing myself and knowing my shape and that’s why the book is called from personal leadership so I can lead myself into successful relationships”, says Mbekeni-Mkaba.
An extract from her epilogue says “to have ‘healthy’ relationships leading to healthy marriages, leading to healthy families, yielding healthy children, yielding to healthy communities, resulting in healthy societies and healthy nations worldwide we need to start with ourselves.
“We were created in love, by love, through love and that is why we always have this hunger to be loved because we are love ourselves”, Mbekeni-Mkaba.
With hopes touch as man lives as possible, Mbekeni-Mkaba says ‘I would like to see this book actually change lives out there, in the book, I challenge people especially in the introduction to say you go out there to change the world because change begins with you. That relationship between you and the next person and begin to be an agent of change.
This Relationship Manual is a book meant to assist the individual to find himself or herself, understand who they are and what their purpose is. S/He then is supported through a process of confronting his/her attitude to relationships and reflecting on past experiences that might be impacting on their current relationship.
Author: Pretty Macina
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